I find myself troubled. I currently reside in a deep funk that has lasted pretty much all day. I did, however, see it's onset approaching last night, after I got back from what I thought was going to be a date. But as always when it comes to men, I was wrong. I seem to continually give them the benefit of the doubt lately. Who am I to hand out such hopeful thoughts to these completely oblivious and overall careless little boys? They don't deserve my optimism!
Case in point: I literally had myself feeling nervously ill yesterday, knowing that I was going on a date with a handsome, stylish, and witty (not to mention older) guy that night. He was to pick me up to go to a cheap little Mexican joint, where I owed him his favorite breakfast burrito after he covered me for a school trip-related expense. Little did I know this outing to him was simply a "break from studying", in which he brought his fellow-studying roommate with him. Completely thrown off, I decide to let it slide. After all, he very well could have secretly brought his roommate as a source of approval for whether or not I was a cool girl he could see himself dating. Plausible, right? So we proceed with our little "hang out", and I quite quickly realize that this guy, who I had gotten to know so well over the past few days, was not who I hoped he would be. Constantly talking about himself, acting like a FOOL, and letting his roommate converse with me more than he even attempted to showed me one thing: just how ridiculous I had been to be getting SO worked up over this guy. Side note - please read each of those all-capitalized words with heavy emphasis. Trust me, if they were read out loud, they'd be pronounced longer and projected at a high volume. You catch my drift.
I came home with a look of pure embarrassment and disgust as my roommates asked me how it went. And from then on, I vowed to myself to never let any guy let me turn into that giddy of a mess EVER again. It's so shameful, especially when nothing comes from it. Was the minutes upon minutes spent thinking of witty responses to texts, dressing up to try and fit his style, and the overall stress even worth it? Is it ever worth that much WORK? I hate to say it but no. Not at all. So don't waste your time ladies. I would say "go ahead and put yourselves out there" to nab the guy... just don't be crushed when nothing comes from your effort. You've been warned!
Take care out there,
Tracy
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